Flying with Stars

As an add-on to my previous post, on my next flight from Phoenix to San Jose, we had a lead flight attendant that was, by far, the most... ummm...., welll..., flamboyant shall I say, flight attendant that I've ever seen. It was hay-larious! I realize San Jose is very close to San Francisco, but this was too funny. This guy looked, acted, and sounded (and I'm not just making this up... there were other witnesses) just like the following famous actor...


Flying is not meant to be this fun.

Jesus and my sister-in-law's lost twin

On my flight from St. Louis to Phoenix, I had the opportunity to sit next to two very unique individuals: a young woman that is most certainly the long lost identical twin of my sister-in-law, and Jesus. Here is the evidence, an actual picture I managed to take with my cell phone. I apologize for the picture quality... the plane ride was bumpy.



This in and of itself is quite strange..., but what really threw me, is when Jesus started making out with my sister-in-law's long lost identical twin like it was the start of the old testament again! I'm not just talking about a random peck on the cheek either. I'm talking about full-up face sucking during takeoff, landing, and everything in between.

In the true and tested words of Clark Griswald: "Russ, he may boink her."


As a side note to this article... while browsing the web for background information on Jesus (yes, I always research my articles) I happened upon a little site called JesusDressup.com. See for yourself. It's way too funny to even attempt to describe in a blog!

Gulliver and the Chocolate Factory

"Holy shit dude... Those are some little people." -- Gulliver from Gulliver's Travels.

Okay, maybe it's not a direct quote from the book, but it's close enough.

Here are some highlights of the season:

• We won one (yes, only one) game.
• We didn't come in last place.
  
• I jumped up to block a spike one time and got hit by the ball somewhere between my elbow and my shoulder, so I must have had my "ups" that night.
• I jumped up to block a spike one time and somehow got caught in the net.

Yeah, we didn't have a freaking chance. Sure, it would have helped if we didn't suck at volleyball in general, but there's only so much one can hope for when the average team height is 3'8".

Oompa loompa doom-pi-dee-daah...