Why I'm so screwed up

To help the masses understand why I'm what some would call "playfully odd", and others "jacked up in the head", I'd like to assert a portion of an email I recently received. It's an email (slightly edited) from my mother regarding Easter weekend. Now, I'm not saying that my upbringing made me into the person that I am today, but with stuff like this going on, nurture has a bit on nature.

Background: Not much to say here, other that that my mother, father, and my mother's parents all live on the same farm (be it in separate houses.) My mother often refers to her father as "grandpa". The rest you'll pick up from the context. Keep in mind as you read this... this is a typical of the situational oddities I often found myself and the rest of my family in as I was growing up.

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Local news on the farm: every shrub on the west side of the house except one
has been pulled out so it is bare. Last fall they had to put a new gas line
in and destroyed the shrubs so now they are gone. I don't know what I'm
going to do; maybe leave it blank. If I knew how to e-mail you pictures I
would. Don't know how yet. I'm still reading manual. I went to get the riding lawn mower
out of mom's basement garage. Andrew's motorcycle was in the way so I thought
I could move it like a bike. Not true, as they are really heavy. Well, it
fell on top of me and I was pinned under it. I yelled for mom but she
couldn't hear me so I finally pushed and pushed and I got out from under it.
Knowing me I injured my leg but still crawled up the steps. I thought gasoline was
leaking out so I thought I should get my husband to lift it up. I called up to the
barn, but the phone system in the barn it doesn't work. Finally mom
heard me and opened the door to the basement. I had the basement garage door open and the cats went down the
stairs and out the open garage door. Mom started screaming as the cats went outside, but she ignored me
and went flying down the basement steps to find them. I crawled to
mom's car got in opened the garage door and started to back out. The wild
cat went flying up the wall of totes in mom's garage. I tried to shut the
garage door but the opener is broke so I left it open. I drove to the barn
honked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one ever heard the horn so I crawled out and got to
the barn door and yelled for my husband. I was in so
much pain. He helped me get back into the car. He checked on the
motorcycle. It was not leaking gas and there was no damage. We couldn't get the
basement garage door down because there was no electricity (don't ask, grandpa
wired it.) So they had to pull it down manually. Mom was still looking
for the cats. Grandpa came inside from the farm. He goes into the kitchen starts cooking
a hamburger and mom yells for him to come down and catch the cats. You know
grandpa... he says they'll come back on their own. Mom is upset about the cats, I have ice on my leg and now we have a hamburger burning. My husband comes in the kitchen. I tell him
to check the hamburger it was a little burnt. Grandpa catches the cats
and comes up from the basement. All of a sudden he remembers he was cooking
It's burnt and now he's yelling "those dam cats burnt myhamburger!" Well we
found the cats, grandpa ate his burnt hamburger, and mom went to her office. While I have ice on
my leg Bailey calls. She tells me her tire on her car when she
was driving to work blew. So I told her to get a hold of Kevin and he could
change it. At the end of the conversation I found
out she hit a rut in the road and blew 2 tires on the driver's side and all
she has is a little donut. So Kevin took over, got the car hauled to Wal-Mart
and bought 2 new tires. S o now the car should be fine.
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Yeah, I know... it's a wonder I made it to high-school. If nothing else, I find it extremely odd that both my sister and myself have fallen victim to massive holes in the earth while driving in this past year. Concidence, or Fraggle conspiricy? You be the judge.